Lessons in Agility and Life from a Dancer Turned Obstacle Course Racer

A collection of my consolidated blog posts from 2017. Largely the result of consuming a lot of Seth Goden content. Transitioning my fitness hobby of competitive ballroom dance to obstacle course, endurance racing (Spartan Race). You’re welcome.

1. Lessons in Agility and Life from a Dancer Turned Obstacle Course Racer
   1. On making New Year Resolutions (in 2017)
   2. The secret of competing against yourself – Simon Sinek
   3. You Create Your Own Happiness Where You Are Right Now
   4. How To Own Your Power
   5. Cut Loose
   6. The best practical life advice
   7. Stand Up For Yourself But Take The Emotion Out Of It
   8. The Impact Of Extending An Invitation
   9. There’s Always A Price, Dearie
   10. Protect Your Own Well
   11. You Never Know Who You Might Be Inspiring

On making New Year Resolutions (in 2017)

Want more? Be prepared to expect more from yourself first.

I found it a bit ironic that the top organic search result on “new years resolution statistics” shows we’re just as apprehensive about making them as we are about not making them. The data surveyed roughly 1,200 respondents (#grainofsalt) showed there are just as many people unwilling to create goals for themselves as there are people who refuse to even try.

http://www.statisticbrain.com/new-years-resolution-statistics/

So yeah, 2017 is off to a great start 😉   No matter where or when you choose to dip your toe in, I’ve found, the point at which you do so largely depends on why you’re doing it. In my experience, the point at which you’re in enough “pain” about something is the tipping point.

I wonder if the reason people are divided about making resolutions is because they inherently know they won’t follow through. Yet, human beings are inherently aspirational; we always want more for ourselves and our loved ones. But to get those kind of gains, we have to want more from ourselves.

When you think about what you stand to gain, you get excited because it’s what you want!

I spent most of last year life-hacking my own schedule and routines figuring out how to make 1% shifts to be more consistent and become more aligned with what makes me happy. This year, I’m keeping it simple and building upon the things I put into place (trust me, it’s not always easy to keep yourself in line :P) Here’s a peek at what I’m going to focus on asking of myself in order to continue building a life I love:

1. Read or write ever day.
2. Focus on completing three high-value tasks each day.
3. Planning the next day the evening before.
4. Making health a priority – actively move or stretch and nourish my body.
5. Learn from people I admire.
6. Keep goals in a visible place and set check-points for myself ever three months or so.
7. Have a powerful and inspiring ‘why’ for where I choose to invest my time.
8. Insert more random dance breaks…maybe at work…maybe during my workout. You never know.

All I know is, if I’m dancing, I hope you’ll get up and join me 🙂

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The secret of competing against yourself – Simon Sinek

It’s the start of a new week. One that transitions into the next month of the new year, for that matter.  Hopefully you’re getting excited for what is in store for you and all this week has to offer. I wanted to share some perspective from a video I watched today. It was a compilation of talks outlining  Simon Sinek’s 10 Rules for Success.

In my opinion, the best part was where he talked about how the goal is not to outdo anyone (i.e. getting more followers, more likes etc.) but rather, how to outdo yourself.

“It’s about how to make sure the work you’re producing is better than the work you produced before.You are your competition.”

I thought that was an incredible reminder of what is really important.  How many times do we keep ourselves from starting something because we compare ourselves to someone else who is doing what we want to do? We look at the number of followers someone has on Instagram and think, “wow. I could never get 11.5K followers…” (they might be fake! But that’s another story). We psyche ourselves out because we compare ourselves to others but what we really should be doing is playing against ourselves.

Sinek goes on to say, “Finite players play to beat the people around them. Infinite players play to be better than themselves.” And this works on both a professional, “how can we produce a product that was better than it was last week?” and personal level, “how can I become a better version of myself today than I was yesterday?”

Because once you realize that finding joy in what you’re doing comes from the moments when you recognize that you’ve accomplished something, that you’ve made progress, that’s the long-term view that will keep you in the game.

“Joy comes not from comparison but from advancement (of yourself).”

There’s one more piece to add onto this. Making any shift or change in your own perspective requires one key ingredient. The real secret is having your own internal motivation to do so. Your own ‘why’ in terms of why you’re doing X.

When you have that piece of the puzzle, you’ll actually do it. That’s the real secret to sustainable motivation in work and in life.

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You Create Your Own Happiness Where You Are Right Now

I’ve had this quote tapped up to my bathroom mirror for a bit. And it’s a good one because…

it centers you with the responsibility of creating your own happiness each day. But it’s also good to temper this expectation because while you’re responsible for your happiness, it’s truly a balance.

Sometimes saying ‘yes’ to a random night out with friends is a break from your routine, or getting out and exploring a new part of your city gives you the confidence to be more adventurous in other areas of your life. Happiness is not found in these things, but rather in how you show up to every new experience or planned event.

Are you ready for it?

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How To Own Your Power

Sundays are a great day for getting perspective, reflecting on your goals, and also just getting things done. Especially on this rainy Sunday in January, I wanted to share three inspirational messages (one podcast & two videos) which I came across recently that you can listen to and infuse more reflection time into your otherwise “mindless tasks” like laundry or cleaning up around the house. On a heavier topic, the two videos are more conceptual, and will hopefully challenge you to become the person you’re meant to be and offer practical tips on developing self confidence.

First up, I’m loving the newly created podcast from my friend/mentor/coach Josh Courage. This is episode 3 of his series, Living With Courage, where he talks about developing true strength and power in your fitness through form and maintenance. For me, I had the awareness that this will be the first year I’m not dancing competitively in ballroom and instead developing myself in other areas staying active through CrossFit and Olympic Lifting. So I’m swapping out training in the International Standard style of five dances (waltz, tango, foxtrot, Viennese waltz, quickstep) and focusing on strength training and improving my form as it relates to the 5 core lifts Josh talks about (dead lift, squat, press, clean and snatch). Hopefully, this inspires you to pick up a barbell too.

Podcast – Why I Think Barbell Training Should Universally Be Used

The idea of creating and becoming the best version yourself is fascinating to me. In this video, McHugh says that the common thread in successful individuals is that they have nothing in common. “These are individuals who’ve managed to figure out the unique gift that the universe gave them when they incarnated. And then put that at the service of their goals. I think that we all come complete. We come complete with one true note we were destined to sing. And these are people that managed to figure that out. And it doesn’t dictate your choice of job; what it dictates is how you do it.” Therfore, the simplest and probably most complicated question you’ll ever ask is “who do you think you are?” She deconstructs this idea further in the eye complex. You can skip ahead about 14 minutes into her talk for this portion and these highlights:

14:07 – Perception – understanding yourself in context and the “approval addiction” we suffer from.
15:32 – Persona – the adaptive part of yourself. This is the part of you that keeps moving and changing.  Your job is to continue becoming better at being who you already are.
17:30 – Ego – the thing/thoughts that might stop you from becoming the person of your dreams. She talks about how developing an inner state of mind that’s impervious to the extremes of your ego; on the good days and the bad, will help you weather the internal storm.
23:06 – Self – your life is your message.

TEDx Talk – The art of being yourself – Caroline McHugh

Finally, this one is fairly quick (TRT 13 minutes), fun and contains a very practical message on how to train yourself to develop self confidence. When we loose the belief in ourselves, we’re lost. There’s no silver bullet, but there are tools and a process to try:

• repetition, repetition, repetition.
• squashing negative self talk & reaffirm your self-affirmation.
• remember who you are – make a list of all the things that make you great.
• praise the positive behavior – in your kids, in athletes; catch them when they’re good.
• self confident people interpret feedback the way they want to.

So that’s it. Happy Sunday, everyone! Here’s to getting things done that physically build confidence and mentally feeding your brain so that you really do believe in yourself.

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Cut Loose

Lately I’ve found that the secret to being able to do something is to mentally not overthink or pre-frame it first.

I’ll give you an example from weightlifting. There are times when I start to mentally psych myself out of executing a lift when I know how much weight is on the bar because I start to think, “oh, that’s heavy, I haven’t done that before.” But other times, when you start at 80% of a weight you know you can hit and gradually build up reps handling the weight from there, it’s surprising what you can do.

Fun fact, I recently did this while doing a 5x back squat and got up to 170 lbs. Five times, down and driving up on 170 pounds! And I currently weigh 125 lbs!

The mental coaching I had stepping up to a loaded iron bar was “Cut loose. And stand up.”

This got me thinking later; what kinds of limitations are we placing on ourselves? In our work, our relationships, especially in the relationship we have with ourselves. If all limits are self imposed, it’s only yourself that’s holding you back.

Remember, if all else fails, the song Footloose by Kenny Loggins will definitely help you cut loose 🙂

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The best practical life advice

I happened to be listening to the radio while getting ready this morning and I heard a trailer for the Martin Scorsese film ‘Silence’. At the very end, there was this sound bite from Liam Neeson where his character says, “Pray. But with your eyes open.”

That stopped me, mid mascara swipe. I thought, “that’s got to be the most practical advice ever.” It’s the balance between being hopeful but also realistic. Kind of like these quotes which I also love:

Be kind, but not weak.
Be strong, but not rude.
Be bold, but don’t bully.
Be humble, but not timid.
Be proud, but not arrogant.
Be confident, but not cocky.
Trust, but don’t be deceived.
Be content, but never settle.

Though, hands down, the most practical advice of all: acquire a very particular set of skills 😉

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Stand Up For Yourself But Take The Emotion Out Of It

I haven’t posted anything in the last week. But that’s because I had switched gears and was writing for a different outlet.

Well, after working very hard to submit a finalized version for said outlet, it happened that my work was not published in its entirety. Normally, I’m open to edits because I like making something better as a result of working on it. But, there wasn’t any feedback sent to me. Instead the finalized version of what I submitted for publication was not at all the version I was reading at the time.

Inwardly, I started to get upset reading further and further and catching mistakes.
Wait, that was supposed to be removed…ugh, no that data point comes later why is it still there…I’m sure I removed that…
I could go on until the cows come home. Suffice it to say, this was nowhere near my final version.

Outwardly, I approached a colleague whose steady hand I knew I needed in that moment. And whose advice would stick with me even longer. He helped me realize that in order to be effective and to address the task at hand, I needed to take the emotion out of it. He helped me see that I could separate the parts that needed to be  communicated to the editor (what to remove so that the published article was again aligned with the agreed upon messaging) and what could be a discussion item at a later time for how to get on the same page and work together more effectively the next time around.

So, that’s it. That’s my little story. If you’re going to stand up for yourself, take the emotion out of it. At the very least, you’ll be the one moving things forward towards a solution.

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The Impact Of Extending An Invitation

Sometimes we take things for granted. We can make assumptions. But you may not realize the impact a simple, direct invitation can have.

I remember when I was competing with my dance partner, the signal to come together was an “invitation” from the man to take up our frame together. I always appreciated that because then I knew where to go and what was expected.  If anything happened at any point during the routine, all we had to do was reset with this invitation and we’d be off again, flying across the dance floor in lock step.

With my (amazing, handsome, kind, humble…) dance partner, Florian, backstage warming up at the City Lights Ball – 2016

The takeaway here is, wherever you can, take the initiative to make the invitation. It quells assumptions and the other person will appreciate you and your leadership for doing so.

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There’s Always A Price, Dearie

“The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.” – Henry David Thoreau

Anything that costs you your peace is too expensive.

Now, some things we cannot change, but we can make the best use of what is in our immediate influence, and take the rest as it happens.

The choice is yours.

May the odds be ever in your favor 😉

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Protect Your Own Well

Today, looking through Feedly, my eyes flashed across these words from Seth Godin’s blog: “The single most important part of any project is the battery, the source of energy, the optimism and effort that turns the long shot into the sure thing, one day at a time.”

And, especially if you’re that battery, taking this idea a step further, it’s so important to protect your own source of energy. Your internal well of optimism, playfulness, lightheartedness, curiosity and overall zest for life.

It’s crazy; I’m slogging through mud carrying a heavy bucket of rocks. People that built the pyramids probably dealt with something similar to this and I don’t think they looked nearly as happy.

But while the Spartan Super was genuinely challenging, it’s also inherently fun for someone like me.

There have been times in my life when I’ve realized I haven’t been being good to myself.  When I haven’t been protecting what fuels me. All I can say is, it’s important to develop an understanding of what makes you happy on a daily basis and what contributes to your own personal energy source. Even more important, is when you find yourself out of alignment, reconnecting to what gives you energy is how you can course correct to get yourself back to that place of balance.

Ready to tackle the next challenge and the next.

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You Never Know Who You Might Be Inspiring

I happen to really like quotes. Particularly of the inspiring kind 🙂

Anyway, I’ve had this one tapped up to my desk for a few months now:

“Make your life a model of what can happen if you take chances, think big, and go for your dreams. You never know who you might be inspiring”

Tonight, as I was walking away from the gym where I now train in the Bay Area, one of the younger girls from the youth fitness class, called out to me–by name–as I was leaving. “Bye, Holly!” She yelled. I was shocked and flattered that she somehow knew my name.

I felt sheepish that I didn’t immediately know her name but I returned her “bye!” with just as much enthusiasm. All I know is that when the young ones are gathering, watching us finish up a workout while waiting for their class to start, I try to be an example of someone who puts in the effort, strives for proper technique (especially under fatigue), and maintains a positive energy (let’s be honest, especially under fatigue). I realize being a true example of this is probably someone who lives up to these things even when everyone’s back is turned. But, they’re kids and they need good examples. So I might as well do a good job when they’re actually watching.

I guess today I don’t have any wisdom just this observation and acknowledging my gratitude to be able to train among the other females at the gym who actively support each other, are playful and funny and strong. They definitely inspire me and I hope the young ladies who see us are inspired too.

Quick, shameless plug 🙂 if you have youngsters and want to introduce them to fitness, Josh Courage is your man! Courage Performance.

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