Fitness & Cultivating Fearlessness: How I’m Learning To Get Over My Fear Of Failure

holly miller athlete.jpg

Let me give you steps of a completely different kind because there is no checklist to getting over your fears; there are no shortcuts here. For what it’s worth, I’m learning it has more to do with leveraging a balance of mental and physical strength. Getting into a routine that helps you build physical strength and mobility is undoubtedly going to do wonders for your confidence, body, health etc. But in addition to that, there’s the “health” and strength of your mind – specifically your thoughts.

The mental work will be largely based on personal preference, but here are some good places, I’ve found, to start:
1.  “Practice Focus” Episode 5 – Living with Courage podcast.
2. “Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life” by Susan David, PhD.

It’s normal (evolutionary, even) for us to feel fear. But what holds us back is the fact that we can cling to fear and accept it as reality. For weightlifting, it can be a thought like, “the weight that’s on the bar is heavy. I can’t do it.”

Now, I’m not going to step up to attempt a lift on a loaded bar of weight I’ve never lifted before because that’s not a good idea; you need to be training and building up to the weight (listen to the podcast). But, there is a way to create a new mental pathway that can help in your practice. It comes from “distancing [yourself] from both the physical effects of [your] fear–the cortisol surge, the accelerated heart rate, and the hyperventilation–and from any self-doubting narratives that might have already hooked [you]…” Learning to acknowledge yet distance yourself from your emotions and connecting with why you actually want to do something is how you learn to go forward in spite of the fears that are holding you back.

It may not be okay right then and there. But it will be okay.

You can lift the weights. You can engage in the difficult conversations with your significant other. You can speak up in a company meeting. You can do these things with your fear and the internal self doubt and still go forward.

It’s not about being fearless but having the courage to go forward with both your fears and your values on board because it’s intrinsically important to you.

Advertisements

You Create Your Own Happiness – Where You Are Right Now

I’ve had this quote tapped up to my bathroom mirror for a bit. And it’s a good one because…

Screen Shot 2017-01-28 at 9.13.47 PM.png

it centers you with the responsibility of creating your own happiness each day. But it’s also good to temper this expectation because while you’re responsible for your happiness, it’s truly a balance.

Sometimes saying ‘yes’ to a random night out with friends is a break from your routine, or getting out and exploring a new part of your city gives you the confidence to be more adventurous in other areas of your life. Happiness is not found in these things, but rather in how you show up to every new experience or planned event.

Are you ready for it?

 

Fitness & Food: How Drinking A Protein Shake Before a Workout Helped My Hunger Later

I had gotten into the habit of consuming my protein shake on the drive home from an evening workout. Good, healthy habit, right? Well, lately I noticed that once I got home, I wasn’t hungry for a real meal. This was happening fairly regularly over the past few weeks and for as much as I spend on groceries (and how much I enjoy food!) it wasn’t a good trend.

There were also times when I had been experiencing some nausea post-workout which also caused me to not eat a sufficient dinner. I think the upset stomach had more to do with the level of exertion during the workout. Still, it’s not a good sign to consistently have your body be unwilling to replenish its nutrients. Not eating dinner also meant I was missing out on hitting my macro nutrient goals; these are the “big three” I learned to keep a close eye on if you really want to impact your weight loss or weight gain – protein, carbs, and fats. In a way it felt good to put in the hard work that’s often required for a CrossFit workout but I also felt like I was robbing my body of the fuel it needed to sustain me in my desired level of activity.

I really dislike feeling sick in any capacity. I’m one of those people who has those giant bottles of Tums from Costco that you gradually chip away at. And while this sometimes helped to subside the nausea, as an athlete, you look forward to eating 😛

I decided to change things up today and performed a little test on myself. An hour before heading to the workout, I had my protein shake. I’m happy to report it worked! I was hungry afterward. And! The workout was definitely a good test of my exertion too.

FullSizeRender.jpg

All of this…took me roughly 27 minutes to complete.

50 push ups
30 pull ups (I did them with a band)
50 bench hop over’s
30 alternating dumbbell snatches (25 lbs)
50 wall balls (14 lbs)
30 slam balls (15 lbs)
50 lateral ball throws (14 lb)
30 burpee broad jumps

So, after finishing that little whopper, for dinner I enjoyed a modified version of home-made chicken noodle soup (I love improving upon the classics). Instead of noodles, I added different kinds of carbs in the form of vegetable pot stickers and diced red potatoes. I didn’t have carrots so I substituted with a larger helping of celery. For an extra bit of taste, I added a dash of balsamic vinegar.

IMG_9251.JPG

I ❤ dumplings 🙂

So there you have it. My hope is that if you’re experiencing something similar, don’t be afraid to switch things up on yourself. Eating right and being active are important ingredients to living a balanced life. Sometimes you need to keep yourself on our own toes.

 

Online Strategy: Year-end Reflection on Rapid Fire

I love Christmas time but not for the reasons you might expect. To me, this time of year is a reflection point. In particular, it’s a day where we collectively consider what’s really important in life and make an effort to be surrounded by people who contribute to it most.

I think we should have more of these types of days throughout our year because far too often we get caught up in life, in jobs, in relationships, in things that don’t serve us. If you don’t have marked reflection points, it’s hard to evaluate whether or not the things around you still serve you.

My goal for 2017 is to continue to put energy into things that actually contribute to my growth. I came across a great, quick approach shared by Marie Forelo to evaluate how to get more of what you want. It’s so simple, I love it!

Here’s how it works. Try it on rapid fire (because want to get back to family time), go through your pictures on your cell phone and through your calendar for all the travel, meetings or appointments you had over the year and answer these questions:

  1. What worked?
  2. What didn’t work?
  3. What were the highlights?

From there, riddle me this: what does 2017 look like if it’s full of ‘what worked’?

Ready? Go.

 

Personal Branding: Stand Up For Yourself But Take The Emotion Out Of It

I haven’t posted anything in the last week. But that’s because I had switched gears and was writing for a different outlet.

Well, after working very hard to submit a finalized version for said outlet, it happened that my work was not published in its entirety. Normally, I’m open to edits because I like making something better as a result of working on it. But, there wasn’t any feedback sent to me. Instead the finalized version of what I submitted for publication was not at all the version I was reading at the time.

Inwardly, I started to get upset reading further and further and catching mistakes.
Wait, that was supposed to be removed…ugh, no that data point comes later why is it still there…I’m sure I removed that…
I could go on until the cows come home. Suffice it to say, this was nowhere near my final version.

Outwardly, I approached a colleague whose steady hand I knew I needed in that moment. And whose advice would stick with me even longer. He helped me realize that in order to be effective and to address the task at hand, I needed to take the emotion out of it. He helped me see that I could separate the parts that needed to be  communicated to the editor (what to remove so that the published article was again aligned with the agreed upon messaging) and what could be a discussion item at a later time for how to get on the same page and work together more effectively the next time around.

So, that’s it. That’s my little story. If you’re going to stand up for yourself, take the emotion out of it. At the very least, you’ll be the one moving things forward towards a solution.

 

 

 

Reading List From A Digital Marketing Specialist

I typically over prepare for questions I might get asked on webinars or talks I’m giving. But I was recently part of a panel at an event hosted by the San Diego American Marketing Association where I was asked a question about what books I’ve read that have had the most influence on my professional career.

Holly Miller speaker

Top-Of-The-Funnel: Awareness Strategies & Technologies

For a split second, I blanked.

But, I’ve actually read quite a bit! I’m the type of person that’s reading 2-3 books at a time. So, for personal and professional development, productivity, and all-around inspiration here is the batch of books I highly recommend checking out:

“Lost And Founder: A Painfully Honest Field Guide to the Startup World” – Rand Fishkin
“Emotional Agility” – Susan David, PhD
“Settle for More” – Megyn Kelly (hand’s down the book is amazing)
“And the Good News Is…: Lessons and Advice from the Bright Side” – Dana Perino
“Let Me Tell You about Jasper . . .: How My Best Friend Became America’s Dog” – Dana Perino
“The 48 Laws of Power” – Robert Greene
“The Art of Seduction” – Robert Greene
“Mastery” – Robert Greene
“Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead” – Brene Brown
“The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology that fuel Success and Performance at Work” – Shawn Achor
“Being in Balance: 9 Principles for Creating Habits to Match Your Desires” – Wayne Dyer
“Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships” – Daniel Goleman
“First you have to row a little boat” – Richard Bode
“Marketing Genius” – Peter Fisk
“Eat That Frog! 21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less Time” – Brian Tracy
“The Power of Myth” – Joseph Campbell
“On The Shortness of Life” – Seneca

 

Now, the next time I get asked this question, I’ll be able to say “oh, on my blog itsmillertimebaby.com, you can find a list of the books I recommend.” 🙂

sandiegoama_photo

Having a laugh along with Alan Bush

About the event: Top-Of-The-Funnel: Awareness Strategies & Technologies

Our first-ever event collaboration with SoCal Marketing Club was an unqualified success! An SRO crowd heard about the latest trends in awareness strategies and technologies from our all-star panel: Alan Bush of Ignite Visibility, Holly Miller of Searchmetrics, Donovan Moore of Goodway Group, Adam Wagner of Raindrop Marketing and moderator John Bertino of The Agency Guy. Many thanks to our lead event sponsor Searchmetrics, to Downtown Works for the fantastic space, to Stella Artois and California Fruit Wine Co. for the tasty adult beverages, and to Lenóce photo for capturing the spirit of the evening. @sandiegoama

Marketing Advice: The Impact Of Extending An Invitation

Sometimes we take things for granted. We can make assumptions. But you may not realize the impact a simple, direct invitation can have.

I remember when I was competing with my dance partner, the signal to come together was an “invitation” from the man to take up our frame together. I always appreciated that because then I knew where to go and what was expected.  If anything happened at any point during the routine, all we had to do was reset with this invitation and we’d be off again, flying across the dance floor in lock step.

invitation.JPG

With my (amazing, handsome, kind, humble…) dance partner, Florian, backstage warming up at the City Lights Ball – 2016

The takeaway here is, wherever you can, take the initiative to make the invitation. It quells assumptions and the other person will appreciate you and your leadership for doing so.